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I got my first bad review today. Or, I suppose, the first review that made me feel bad, because a review that includes "I did like the writing etc." can't be all bad.

But "I feel cheated" and "furiously disappointed" ... yeah.

It makes me remember being about 15 and reading...some epic fantasy trilogy sort of thing, I think it was by Tad Williams, in which there were three books full of people trying to save the world, and all the stuff they did failed at the very end and then they saved the world by doing something that they could have done from the beginning, thus making three books worth of stuff completely pointless. I felt cheated, and furiously disappointed, so much so that I still remember this years later, and I'm sorry to have made someone else feel that way.

(Just to note, I don't remember have any strong feeling one way or another about The Wizard of Oz, despite the somewhat similar structure, but I suppose that was a far earlier age, and probably a far better story overall too.)

On the other hand, sorry as I am about that feeling, I don't really think it's a problem with the story so much as with expectations. I mean, I wrote the story that I wrote, and there are other ways I could have written it, and there are reasons that I didn't go that way (some of them having to do with it being a remix, some of them having to do with not having time to try to figure out the implications of doing things in other ways, and some of them having to do with thinking it's a stronger story the way it is). If it's not the story that someone else was looking for, well, that happens to me all the time too. (But I know that my preferences go against general fandom preferences in a lot of ways, so I'm used to it.)

Anyway. I'm sort of torn, and not exactly sure what I think. But since I suspect that labeling the story as Buffy & Spike on fanfiction.net is part of a problem that is probably not limited to the one person who felt strongly enough to leave a comment, I switched the story to listing only Spike as the character the story is about for now. Maybe I'll think of something better, or maybe I'll just leave it that way.

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LookingForOctober

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